🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?